The Mission of Motherhood Book Club (Week #2)
It was 4:30 in the afternoon, and I was pooped! We had been out on a hotter-than-normal afternoon in a car without air conditioning. It was Joy's sixth birthday, so we had enjoyed lunch at her favorite restaurant and played at a playground with friends. Grocery shopping and errands had followed. Now, I was longing to sit down with a cup of tea for just fifteen minutes to relax and regroup. But dinner still needed to be made. Groceries sat on the kitchen cabinet, waiting to be put away. Joy's birthday cake needed to be frosted.
If I can have just a few minutes alone, I thought, I'll be okay. But as I was sneaking into my room for a short reprieve, the phone rang. Sarah, who had borrowed the car as soon as I got home, was calling to tell me she couldn't get the gas tank open. Did I know what was wrong? I gave her a couple of suggestions, then hung up and reheated my tea water.
Ringgggg!
"By the way, Mom. I found a movie I would like to get for my birthday." Sarah was so excited she couldn't wait until she got home to tell me. I did my best to share her enthusiasm, but all I could think about was that chair and my cup of tea.
As I hung up the phone, Joel called from the den.
"Mom, can you please take a picture of me for my Web site? It will just take a minute!"
We set up the camera, and he posed with his guitar. But the camera wouldn't work. The battery pack was dead. We tried to plug it in, but the cord wouldnt reach the outlet. Finally after moving a wooden hutch, we were able to plug in the camera and take the picture Joel wanted.
By now I had given up on my tea! I went to the kitchen to unpack the groceries and noticed that no children seemed to be around to help. Just as I was stashing an armload of vegetables in the crisper, Joy urgently called from her downstairs bedroom, "Mommy, come quickly!" I raced to see what was up.
"Look, Mommy! I made a pen to put my Beanie Babies in! Isn't it neat?" After affirming her genius, I trudged back up the stairs. Again the phone rang. This time it was Clay.
"Hi, honey! Did you know John (my nephew at the Air Force Academy) is coming over for the birthday dinner and needs someone to pick him up?" I quickly phoned Sarah to ask if she could do it. As I hung up the phone, Nathan called out from downstairs in a panic.
"Mom, can you help me find my T-shirt for our meeting tonight? I have to wear it, or I don't get points for my badge."
After searching the house, we found the shirt in a laundry basket. At least it was clean! The phone rang again. It was the next-door neighbors, ready to take Nathan to his meeting.
I glanced up at the fridge as I hung up the phone. Tacked up with a magnet was a card with a phrase from an old chorus: "If you want to be great in God's kingdom, learn to be the servant of all!" For a second I was tempted to take the verse off of the door and stick it in the recycling bin. Then I just had to laugh at the Lord's sense of humor.
The truth is, serving others in the ordinary moments of life is not something that comes easily to me. I'm the kind of person who tends to be attracted to the grand sweeping accomplishments in life. I am challenged by stories that offer great vision and depth of commitment. When it comes to motherhood, I like the idea of being a mom who inspires my children to great accomplishments in medicine (developing the cure for cancer) or statesmanship (a future president of the United States) or the arts (a Christian movie producer). The everyday realities of running a household just don't have the same appeal.
But such humdrum activities, of course, comprise the majority of a mothers experience. Before I had children, I never realized this. I really had no clue that admiring a Beanie Baby's pen, taking a picture, finding a T-shirt, and helping to unlock a gas cap would be the kinds of sacrificial acts required of me most often while I attempted to fulfill the mission of motherhood.
As I have grown through the past four decades years of motherhood, however, I've come to appreciate the importance of the many thousands of routine moments in a mother's life, for it is in these moments that real greatness tends to be taught and caught.
It is certainly important to grasp the great calling of motherhood and respond to a vision for what a family can be. But it's the way I respond to my children in everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts. My friend, this is what you and I will be discussing this week on Life With Sally. We will be looking at what it means to a wholehearted mother in a half-hearted culture and how to lead our families by serving.
In order to help us along, I have provided two legacy talks that I think will add a richness to our discussion. I've also provided a Scripture journal to help us unpack the questions at the end of each chapter, Scripture memory cards to help write God's Word on our hearts, and two beautiful posters to remind us of all we are learning together. I am so glad you are here!
This Week's Reading: Chapter 3 and Chapter 4
After you read this week's reading assignment, hop over to the Life With Sally Forum (button below) to join the discussion for our book club! Here is what we will be thinking, discussing, and pondering over on the forum:
Question #1
On page 44, I write: "I had thought a lot about my life and work when I was growing up, but I had never really thought about what priority motherhood would take. More to the point, I had not yet given myself wholeheartedly to the mission of motherhood.
Yes, I loved my family and wanted to do a good job as a mother. But when up to my elbows in the tedious responsibilities of life, I spent much of my mental energy thinking about when I would have more time for myself and my own interests. When my children are six, I would think, there will be no more children in diapers, no more naps, and my life will be freer. Then I will have more time to write and speak and spend time on me— to do the important stuff!
As I began to seek God in this area, however, he gently began to put his finger on the real source of my dissatisfaction, which lay not on my specific choices or my skills as a mother, but in my divided heart. How could I put all of me into my time at home if I was always thinking about a future time when I could escape the routine tasks of motherhood?
In a journal or in your quiet time with the Lord, think about if you have truly given yourself wholeheartedly to the mission of motherhood. Spend some time journaling about what it means to you to be a wholehearted and lifegiving mother. What would that look like in your life and home? What resentments need to me address or attitudes need adjusted to help you further commit to this calling? Allow God's grace to meet you where you are, forgive your past failures, and press on with hope and wholehearted devotion.
Question #2
On page 66, I write "What does it mean to practice servant leadership as a mother? I believe it starts out with a choice. I have to choose to serve Christ by giving my time and energy to my children —not just when I feel like it but when they need me. This means I often must sacrifice my own needs and desires for the purpose of giving my children what they need and modeling for them the depths of Christ's love.
For me, choosing servanthood has meant sitting quietly on a child's bed, listening to her sorrows and loneliness, encouraging her, administering love, when I would rather have had some time to myself. It has meant being exhausted from caring for three children under six, yet still getting up in the middle of the night to soothe the pain of an ear infection without complaining about how tired I am. It has meant making the effort to plan an outing a picnic lunch, a drive to the mountains, a favorite book on tape when we moved to a new area and my children felt friendless, even though I had a million other things to do.
Choosing to be a servant-mother means willingly giving up myself, my expectations, and my time to the task of mothering and choosing to believe that doing so is the best use of my time at that moment."
In what areas can you grow in practicing servant leadership? Can plan a special outing to a favorite coffee shop or bakery, pick up a cozy family movie at the library and make homemade pizza, or simply stay up an hour or so late and let your precious ones pour out their hearts to you? For more ideas on what this principle could look like in your home, I recommend checking out The Lifegiving Home or Teatime Discipleship for Mothers and Daughters! I would also love to hear your ideas in the forum!
Question #3
As we seek to pour our lives out for our family, commit to God's design for motherhood, and give ourselves wholeheartedly to the mission of motherhood, we also need to make sure that we fill our own cup, so we can fill others. This can look like committing 15 minutes each day to regroup over a cup of tea or delicious treat in the afternoons, finding a new book to read that's just for fun, or finding a community of like-minded mothers to help encourage you. If you haven't found one, I highly recommend joining the MomHeart Facebook Group to see if there's a local group near you!
This week, think about how can you nurture your own soul, so you can nurture the souls of your precious ones.
