The Mission of Motherhood Book Club (Week #5)
As our 10-day historical trip to Washington D.C. drew to a close, what my four children and me really longed for was the comfort and familiarity of being home. When we rounded the last curve in the dirt road leading up to our mountain home, the excitement of the children's voices filled the air.
"I hope Penny [our beloved golden retriever] is in the yard waiting for us!"
"Oh look, it snowed on the mountains while we were gone."
"I can't wait to show Daddy my souvenirs—I bet he's been real lonely without us!"
"I'm going to brew a real strong cup of Yorkshire gold tea, light a candle, put on my Celtic CD, and curl up on my bed and stay for three days."
When we parked the car, fourteen-year-old Joel jumped out and ran inside. He bounded upstairs and called out in his manly young voice, "I love my bed the best! I love our dog the best! I love my tea and our fireplace and my reading chair and my books and music and our mountains and I may never, ever, leave home again!" This from the child who couldn't wait to fly to Washington D.C. for our adventure with friends.
We did indeed have a wonderful time, lots of excitement and precious fellowship with friends. Though our time away from home is like a holiday treat, special once in a while, the place our hearts really hungered for was home.
Home— it's such a beautiful word! It's the center of our lives, the place that holds us with invisible strings of love within its walls. Home is the place where the delectable smells and tastes of "my favorite food" linger; where the comfort and beauty of "my room" and "my bed" can be enjoyed; where "my dreams" are inspired and begin to grow; where bedtime routines, prayers, and blessings give comfort; where the intimacy of deep relationships— unconditional love, grace, forgiveness, encouragement, unselfishness, laughter, and memories— is shared with people who have made us a priority in their lives. It's where appetites for favorite music, movies, books, games, art, and traditions are shaped from infancy.
Home is a haven from a world that is swimming with challenges and difficulty. It is a school where one learns how precious life is intended to be. It provides the context of learning to know and love my Creator, the beauty of the world he made, and his Word, which guides me. And it is the environment where direction and purpose and values are passed from generation to generation, protecting and preserving all that is precious in life.
The task of building our homes into places of beauty and life that will feed the hearts, souls, and minds of our children is the most comprehensive task to which God has called us as mothers. We are called quite literally to be "home makers"—to plan and shape a home environment that provides our families with both a safe resting place and a launching pad for everything they do in the world.
'What does that mean in practical terms? It seems that in the contemporary Christian world, there is a proliferation of simplistic how-to books. Readers snap up easy formulas about how to live the Christian life. Ten steps to creating a nurturing home environment (or twelve steps to having perfectly disciplined children, or seven steps to a perfect marriage) would surely make our lives easier!
Yet the more I study Scripture, the more I realize it doesn't provide simplistic formulas for successful living. Through the Word, God has indeed given us principles of wisdom that can guide our lives, including many that can guide us in shaping our home environments. But God leaves enormous room for personality, circumstances, creativity, resources, and culture to shape the specific decisions we make about our homes and the ways that we live in them. Each of us is called to make daily faith decisions that will determine the kind of environment that shapes our family's lives.
In this week of our book club, I will share some ideas of how Clay and I have tried to build our home into a place where God is glorified and our children are trained to love and serve him.
However, I would never hold up my home as the standard by which everyone should live. Each family will learn to develop its own distinct way of living out the principles of wisdom God has provided in his Word. Each home should be different and uniquely suited to meet the needs of the children and parents who live there.
I pray this week you will invite the Holy Spirit into this process, and together with your family, develop a lifegiving vision for your own home with your own preferences, tastes, and family in mind!
This Week's Reading: Chapter 9 and Chapter 10
After you read this week's reading assignment, hop over to the Life With Sally Forum (button below) to join the discussion for our book club! Here is what we will be thinking, discussing, and pondering over on the forum:
Question #1
On page 161, I write: “The more I study Scripture, the more I realize it doesn't provide simplistic formulas for successful living. Through the Word, God has indeed given us principles of wisdom that can guide our lives, including many that can guide us in shaping our home environments. But God leaves enormous room for personality, circumstances, creativity, resources, and culture to shape the specific decisions we make about our homes and the ways that we live in them. Each of us is called to make daily faith decisions that will determine the kind of environment that shapes our family's lives.”
As a member of Life With Sally (and most likely a fellow kindred spirit), you will know my very well-documented love for softly lit candles, strong Yorkshire Gold tea in delicate china cups, the cobbled streets of Oxford, and whole wheat cinnamon rolls that have graced our table on many, many occasions over decades of life together. Yet, God in his endless creativity and wisdom, has given you and your family your very own set of preferences and tastes that are as unique as the people who live there. How does your home reflect you and your family’s personality? How does your own family heritage or culture play out in your home? How does your home show the creativity and goodness of God?
Question #2
On Page 167, I write: “A perfectly ordered home isn't necessarily a haven, but neither is a messy, chaotic one. Coming up with a plan for subduing the messy details of our domain is essential to maintaining a peaceful atmosphere, teaching children to take care of themselves, and simply keeping the work from overwhelming anyone.”
What is something in your home that is currently bringing you or your family unneeded stress? Overflowing laundry baskets that lead to looking last minute for sports uniforms or Sunday outfits? Sticky countertops cluttered with mail and miscellaneous items? A cluttered or chaotic living room or dining room that keeps you from hosting or having people over for meals? Take a few moments to think about it and make a plan to tackle it depending on your personality: some people need to get it all done over a weekend or afternoon, and others need to chip away at it over a couple of weeks. Ask your family if there’s any area of your home that brings them unneeded stress and help them brainstorm ways to address it!
Question #3
On Page 188, I write: “Picturing my home as a sort of castle in which all the rooms are wisely adorned with "precious and pleasant riches," I have decorated and arranged my home environment in ways that help our children experience God's creation more richly. In particular, from the time they were very small, I have filled our home with items that appealed to their senses and fed their understanding of God's beauty and their appreciation of human creativity. ”
In what ways is your home a testament to God’s marvelous majesty and creativity in your home? In this passage of the book, I discuss our family’s own unique preferences: gold-framed calligraphy pictures, colorful art prints, fresh garden flowers gracing our tables, melodic music floating through the air, and the fragrance of warm vanilla. What are your family’s unique preferences? How have you displayed the creativity of God throughout your home? In what ways can you include the preferences of your spouse, children, or others who live in your home?
