The Mission of Motherhood Book Club (Week #3)
Many years ago, Joy and I attended a mother-daughter tea at the home of a lovely, accomplished Christian friend. I was tempted all afternoon to compare the shortcomings of our own family with the apparent strengths of the family at hand.
As I walked through the front door with its welcoming wreath, I observed a lovely environment with perfectly placed knickknacks from all over the world. But all I could think was, How does she keep her house so beautiful with all of these children around? Six is a lot of kids to keep under control. The food for the tea was decoratively arranged on beautiful china dishes, but I was thinking, She sure went to a lot of trouble for us. I need to try harder to do special things in my home!
The food was served by the immaculately clad children of our hostess. (I've got to get some new shirts for the kids; ours all look stained and faded). Each child appeared to be quite gracious. (Boy, do I need to go home and work on my kids' manners!) Each boy had a perfect haircut, and each hair was in place. (I hope they don't see my boys' hair, especially not their fingernails!)
The mother who hosted the tea party, in reality, was just a sweet woman who wanted to make her friends feel special. And I admit I've exaggerated my response just a bit to make a point—though I really did wonder where that mother went for her boys' haircuts! But this is typical of some of the conversations that sometimes go on in my mind. It is so easy to get caught up in petty comparisons and unimportant issues and lose sight of what we are really aiming for as parents!
Someone once observed, "Christians are like people who are trying to straighten the picture on the wall while the house is burning down!" Isn't that what we as mothers are tempted to do—to waste our energies trying to meet external standards while our children's deep spiritual needs go unmet and unnoticed?
Jeremiah 9 gives us a different view of life that can help us refocus the priorities of our lives and our parenting efforts: "Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice, and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things," declares the LORD. (verses 23-24)
Though this passage was written twenty-six hundred years ago, it is still applicable to us today. Our culture still seeks success through these three areas— the intellect; power and status; and riches. As mothers, we will be tempted to measure our success by the performance of our children in these areas as well. There is constant pressure in our culture to place an inordinate amount of energy in seeking these things—just as there was in Jeremiah's day.
If we focus on intellect, social status, or wealth, it's almost certain that we will eventually feel we don't quite measure up. How comforting it is, then, to realize that the goals God has called us to as parents are accomplishable. Any parent in any station of life can reach his or her child's heart for Christ and his purposes. All that God requires from any of us is a desire to serve him and a trust that he can make up the difference for the things we lack. The Lord would have us know that he is the one ultimately in charge of our children. He will use our willingness and our efforts, then fill in the gaps of our inadequacies, to prepare their hearts for what he has in mind.
Through almost four decades of parenting, my goal has been a simple one: to love and train my children so they will be equipped to reach the world and their families and friends with the message of Christ after I am gone. This is what they were born to do—to truly love God and glorify him and follow him.
That’s why this week we will be talking about what it means to intentionally train, teach, and disciple our children. I’ve provided a Scripture journal for us to unpack what God has to say on this, as well as Family Prayer Prompts to use in your own family discipleship time!
I pray this week will leave you refreshed and encouraged as you continue to walk with God in your journey of motherhood.
This Week's Reading: Chapter 5 and Chapter 6
After you read this week's reading assignment, hop over to the Life With Sally Forum (button below) to join the discussion for our book club! Here is what we will be thinking, discussing, and pondering over on the forum:
Question #1
On Page 81, I wrote: “Often our lives are so overrun with small tasks that we get caught up in checking off the lists of things that need to be done and lose sight of the big picture. From there, we too easily fall into the trap of judging ourselves and our children by external standards of success and cultural priorities rather than by what really matters to God.”
When you look at your children, what makes you feel “successful” as their mother? Is that in line with what Scripture says success should look like? In what ways have you felt the urge to measure up to societal standards rather than Scriptural standards? How has that affected how you feel about your role as a mother?
Question #2
On page, 91 I write: “Whenever we discipline our children, however, it's important to keep our overall goal in mind. The purpose of training our children is not to force them to do what we want. The purpose is not to produce guilt or shame but to free our children to enjoy the fruit of mature living. This means that training should always be exercised in gentleness, along with love and patience. A verse that often goes through my own mind in this regard is Proverbs 15:1: "A gentle answer turns away wrath." I seek to reach my children's hearts through gentleness and understanding while still holding up the ideal of excellence. How can they learn to honor me if I do not speak to them honorably?”
What do discipline and correction look like in your home? Does it produce guilt or shame, or does it promote spiritual maturity and righteousness? How do you respond to your children in moments of correction? Does your reaction or response help or hinder your goal to win their hearts for Christ?
Question #3
On page 102, I wrote: “Our task is to train ourselves and our children to think clearly, truthfully, and Biblically about Jesus and the world. We want to help them develop a Christian worldview based on the truth of Scripture, our personal trust and application of Scripture to our own lives, and our testimony of God's faithfulness to us.”
Why do you think it’s important for parents to have their own deep well of Biblical knowledge and it’s application before imparting that to their children? How have you pursed growing in Biblical wisdom, knowledge, and application? How has the fruit of your own personal faith journey blessed your family?
